Hello. It's been awhile.
Today has been weird. Over the last few weeks, I have been scared to check this blog or even my blog email (firstname.lastname@example.org). I was ashamed of my situation. I hated everything, including myself. I felt like a failure. So many people in my class are receiving job offers, or have been working since the bar exam. Not me though. And today I received yet another email informing me that while I am an excellent candidate, they chose another person for the position. I drove over 280 miles total for this interview, and I get a three sentence rejection email. However, like I said, today is weird. I wasn't devastated like I was so many times before. I wasn't angry, upset, or annoyed.
I was just disappointed.
It has definitely been an emotional roller coaster though. Giving up a position for a dream job that decided to hire internally and used me to make sure that their hiring process was legal, moving back in with my parents after living independently for almost eight years, struggling to pay the bills, going on three interviews for a firm to find out that I would have been offered the position if a previous associate wasn't just laid off and wanted to come back, going on interview after interview with no luck . . . it really does drain a person.
But today was weird. I decided to check my blog email for the first time in almost two months. I had the typical spam. But there were a few emails directly addressed to me from people I never met or talked to. Readers and followers of my blog and twitter. These emails insisted that I stay positive and not give up. One email even forwarded me a job listing - she thought of me when she came across this listing. I was told stories of similar circumstances and given advice on how to continue my job search. And then I realized it.
I shouldn't be embarrassed. I should never be embarrassed about my situation.